i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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