Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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