I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
