It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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