I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
