Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
