Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
