Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Someone shattered a urinal.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
