Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
