That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
