she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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