i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
