Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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