I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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