When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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