can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
