Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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