So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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