where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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