she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
