CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
