She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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