When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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