She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
