He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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