well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize