only you would photoshop your dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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