The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
PANTIES FOUND
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