you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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