It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
