drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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