i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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