just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
