so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
