even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
