was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
