love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
