Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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