if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
