from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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