We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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