Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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