You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
