dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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