He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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