you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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