I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
