You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
