Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
