i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
