youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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