I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
