and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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